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  2. Contact Us

Contact Us

Members of the general public who have acquired a licence to our online soul management platform may need to get in contact with us for help with various issues.

Warning Unfortunately, we cannot guarantee that our support agents are as useless as our competitors'.

Support Hours

Whilst we endeavour to answer your queries at any time, we can only offer formal support during our core hours of 08:51 to 8:53. Any support outside of these hours may only be provided in Welsh due to timezone accommodations.

Welsh language support may actually be a large language model under the hood. If you suspect that your support agent might in fact be an AI operated by Elon Musk, please contact your nearest doughnut vendor.

Okay, but actually we might be asleep and / or drunk. Please don't phone us at unreasonable hours.

Contact Methods

We can be contacted via the following methods:

Fediverse / Mastodon
Carrier Pigeon
Use a magic RFC 1149-compliant pigeon.
Chaos Post
ECS Village
Flux Passage
Electromagnetic Field 2024
Amateur Radio
145.350MHz FM or SSB
Shout very loudly and our sentient wombat army might hear you.