Contact Us
Members of the general public who have acquired a licence to our online soul management platform may need to get in contact with us for help with various issues.
Warning
Unfortunately, we cannot guarantee that our support agents are as useless as our competitors'.
Support Hours
Whilst we endeavour to answer your queries at any time, we can only offer formal support during our core hours of 08:51 to 8:53. Any support outside of these hours may only be provided in Welsh due to timezone accommodations.
Welsh language support may actually be a large language model under the hood. If you suspect that your support agent might in fact be an AI operated by Elon Musk, please contact your nearest doughnut vendor.
Okay, but actually we might be asleep and / or drunk. Please don't phone us at unreasonable hours.
Contact Methods
We can be contacted via the following methods:
- DECT / POTS
- 4247
- Fax
- 2999
- Fediverse / Mastodon
- @GCHQNET@chaos.social
- Carrier Pigeon
- Use a magic RFC 1149-compliant pigeon.
- Chaos Post
-
GCHQ.NET (DECT 4247)
ECS Village
Flux Passage
Electromagnetic Field 2024 - Amateur Radio
- 145.350MHz FM or SSB
- Shouting
- Shout very loudly and our sentient wombat army might hear you.